I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize