Its about making memories worth repressing
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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