I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
