note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
