i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Randomize
