Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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