plz talk dirty to me
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
