I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
