My pussy is not your playground.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
