At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
