i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
