I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize