So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I have aggressive nipples.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
