Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
