whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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