Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
