Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
