I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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