problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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