I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
