I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
