Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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