So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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