woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm like, not good at living.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
