hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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