I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
