Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
