For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
