You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
