I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
