I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I have aggressive nipples.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
