I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
is it fun? or sober?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
