Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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