I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
