just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
