A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
wow bdsm is so cute
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