Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
