i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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