Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
