I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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