Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
