There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
