well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
