I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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