She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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