Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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