I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
