Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
