I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
where are my eyebrows?
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