Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
