no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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