I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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