Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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