your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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