You work out of a Hotel?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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