it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
