Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
