just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
